Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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