btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
