my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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