Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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