They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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