if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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