Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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