I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
