you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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