Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
