allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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