You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
