Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men