If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital