butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.