better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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