WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
