so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize