Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
