"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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