The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
how can u be prego again
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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