I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
