I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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