just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
