Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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