I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
