Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
