It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
