i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
