If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize