Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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