they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
