She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
