went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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