i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
