I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
