does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize