New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
