Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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