im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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