Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
