I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You can't just leave with hair like that
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
