I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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