Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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