Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
