i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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