Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I need to stop coming to work sober
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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