you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
