ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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