You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
