yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize