so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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