Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
