Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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