Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
