More tranny stories later!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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