She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Houston, we have a squirter
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Randomize
