That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
