I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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