Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
